Kakay’s Blog

Sept. 11, 2006

Dearest Kakay,

How are you? I know you’ve gone through a lot in the past two months… You were quite accurate in telling during your wedding that you’re going through a roller coaster ride — with the extremes of heights of happiness and depths of sadness that came by in the succeeding weeks.

I congratulate you for the successful party you’ve thrown at your wedding. That was really fun! I know you had a lot of family members and friends you thank for. You do have a lot of people who love you. You were glowing of joy and excitement that moment. That would indeed be the beginning of your dreams coming true — with your very own (version of) Prince Charming. :o)

The next weeks even showed a prettier you, despite the weight gain. I heard of your high sugar levels, possibly brought about by gestational diabetes. I salute you for your discipline in sticking to your low-sugar, low-salt diet. Bawal ang matamis, bawal din ang maalat. So anong pwedeng kainin??? “Eh di matabang!”, sabi nga ng isang makulit na officemate. I know you only wanted what is best for the baby inside you. Your baby probably loved your stories and songs, and the prayers that you whispered to her everyday. You always shared smiles with Eboy with the feel of Baby’s heartbeat inside your growing tummy. It was so much easy for you to give out smiles — may it be in the morning train rides, in office meetings, or at dinnertime with Eboy and Manang Becca. You were especially beaming with bliss every night during the two-hour trips going home from the office, with the love of your life…

Unfortunately, the unexplainable can’t be prevented from happening… At the height of your joy, here comes sorrow, breaking in the fairytale. Dawn of Aug. 27, as you experienced a bit of pain in your abdomen, you offered a little prayer to take away the pain, while reassuring little Baby that everything will be alright. You slept in your dear husband’s comforting embrace until you awakened, the pain no longer tolerable. That’s when fear wrapped your consciousness. At 7am, you were with the doctors and nurses in the hospital’s operating room. The doctors promised they would do everything they could… The baby’s heart still beating, your eyes were filled with sadness. The doctors just said the baby has to be taken out, but little Baby can’t survive being barely 23 weeks in your womb.

That was just two weeks ago, Kay. I know you’re still hurting now. But continue to hold on to the Lord, more strongly than ever before… because God has plans for you and your family life. Always be reminded of your Ninang’s words, you are truly blessed – starting a family with an angel up above to look over you and Eboy. Don’t forget to be thankful for all of your blessings – for your husband who loves you dearly, for your family who has supported you all throughout, for your friends who were always there to cheer you up. You may not fully understand everything now, but in God’s time, your wounds would heal too. Your heartaches will be gone. Be thankful that Baby Natalie Angeline was blessed to become one of God’s precious angels.

Much love,

Kakay