Haay, ang sarap naman din pala ng mahabang bakasyon. Na-enjoy ko talaga ng bonggang-bongga ang 11 days straight na hindi nag-iisip ng work. Sinadya ko talaga ko yun. At sa tuwing ma-te-tempt akong tumingin sa aking laptop bag, ay ibinabaling ko ang tingin sa ibang bagay, kagaya ng sangkatutak na toys ni Erin sa kwarto. Grabe, pag pumasok ka sa kwarto namin, puro laruan ni Erin na ang makikita mo. Minsan nga, feeling ko, lumipat na ang Toy Kingdom sa bahay namin. Pano ba namang hindi maiipon ang toys, eh halos araw-araw atang nagpupunta dun sa SM at Trinoma ang mag-ama ko. Ito kasing si Erin, mahilig gumala! May malaking nunal kasi sa paa. In fact, nagagalit sya kapag nakita nya ang lahat na nakabihis na, at hindi pa rin umaalis ng bahay. Nagsusungit, sumisigaw, at hahatakin ka palabas ng pinto!

 

Sabi ni Eboy, mahina daw ang kita namin nitong 2008 kumpara ng 2007… Siguro nga. Tag-hirap eh. At may bagyong Frank na nakaapekto sa mga isda ng palaisdaan. Tapos, shempre, mas tumataas ang gastos sa diapers, milk formula, at damit ng pagkaganda-ganda kong anak na si Erin (oks ba? Nanay na nanay ang tunog?). At, sabi ko ke Eboy, malamang, may kinalaman talaga ang Toy Kingdom sa pagbaba ng savings namin nitong nakaraang taon. Pero, palagi nyang sinasabi sa akin, na minsan nga lang daw magiging bata si Erin. Agree naman ako duon. Pero, mas okey pa rin sa akin kung araw-araw na lang niya ipasyal ang bata sa SM o kaya Trinoma habang walang binibiling maski ano. Pwede naman yun, di ba? Uso naman na ang window shopping ngayon, di ba? Ang stand ko, dapat ibibili lang ang bata ng special toy kapag may okasyon. Or else, baka hindi na niya ma-appreciate ang gifts… And another thing, minsan, mas fascinated pa sya sa kahon kaysa sa mismong laruan eh! No need to buy expensive toys, di ba??? Oh well, papel, ayaw lang din siguro umamin ni Eboy na siya talaga ang may gusto sa laruan, at hindi si Erin, kaya niya binibili…

 

Nung pasko, super dami pa ng nagregalo ng toys kay Erin. May maiingay, makukulay, matitigas, malalambot, imported, local… Siguro, meron kang mahahanap dito na magfi-fit sa maski anong regalo na naka-assign sa mga monito-monita ninyo.  Isang tip nga yun nanatutunan ng kapatid ko eh. Sa Toy Kingdom maghanap ng mga something soft, something slimy, chorva-chorva nya. At hindi ako nagkamali! Tuwang tuwa naman ang nakatanggap ng gift nya. Panalo!

 

Kaya nga, sino’ng nagsabing ang Pasko ay para sa mga bata? Pakiramdam ko, lahat tayo, naaaliw pa rin sa toys, at maaaliw pa rin, maski na anong edad na natin. Nung dinala ko nga minsan yung isang toy wand ni Erin sa office, eh nabaliw lahat ng mga ka-opisina ko! Kasi, tumutunog at umiilaw, tuwing pinipindot. Feeling fairy godmother ka talaga pag hawak mo yun, at sabay cast ng spell, at pindot sa magic button… *tinininining…*   Pakiramdam mo, natupad na ang mga wish mo! Like, maging palaka na sana ang naging cause ng stress mo nung araw na yun! Wehehe… Tapos, matinding halakhakan na. Oo, maski tawagin kang isip-bata in terms of play, ang saya-saya at ang gaan sa pakiramdam. Ang sarap maging bata. Sana pasko na ulit. J

Nangangalkal ako ng mga lumang files ko sa PC, at natagpuan ko ang ilan sa mga isinulat ko nuong may hilig, may panahon at may inspirasyon pa akong lumikha ng mga kung anu-anong potpotry (yan ang tawag ko sa mga obra kong nagfi-feeling poetry)… At eto ang isa sa kanila, nalikha nuong Dec 30, 2001. Hindi ko alam kung gaano ninyo ma-ti-trip-an, o kung ma-ge-gets man ninyo. Bahala na kayong mag-interpret. Pwede rin kayong gumawa ng reaction paper, at i-post nyo na lang sa comments. Ang may pinakamagandang i-submit, magkakaroon ng premyo ngayong pasko.

December 30, 2001

 

Ang bilog. Mabilog. Bilugan. Bilug-bilog. Libo-libong araw na bilog.

 

Bilog. Bilog na mukha. Bilog na tiyan. Bilog na ulo. Bilog na buwan. Bilog na hubog ng buntis. Bilog na patak ng luha sa papel. Bilog na suso. Bilog na puwet. Bilog na patuloy ang ikot, bilog na nakahihilo. Hinto.

 

Bakit? Bakit pabilog ang hulma ko? Hindi naman ako dapat bola ha? Bilog daw ang araw, ang buwan, ang mundo medyo, pero ako… dapat din ba ako maging bilugan? Palaging bilugan.

 

Walang kanto. Hindi mapatigil. Walang katapusan. Puros kurbada. Swabe. Makinis. Nakabaluktot subalit hindi nawawasak. Solido pero malambot ang kalooban. Kapag ikinabit sa iba, nagiging parte ng buong sistema ng isa. Kita ng bilog ang lahat ng nangyayari sa kanyang sarili at sa kanyang paligid. Walang kantong nakatakip. Buo. Sarado.

 

Maganda rin ang pagiging bilog ngayon, bukas, hanggang sa katapusan ng bilog… kung may makatagpo man noon.

 

–kcg

Hello everybody in the whole wide world! Ang tagal tagal ko palang nawala! Grabe. Ayan, super na-tengga tuloy ang blogspot ko dito sa friendster. Kilala nyo pa kaya ako?

Anyway, ano nga bang balita sa akin ngayon? Eh di heto, nagpapapayat forever to lose my post-pregnancy weight gain. Aba eh, 14 months old na ang anak ko, hindi ko na pwedeng idahilan ang pagbubuntis sa pagiging overweight ko ng mahigit 33 pounds! Hindi na uubra eh.

I had my annual check-up last August. At pesteng mga doctor yan! Aba’y tatlong iba-ibang doctor, akala mo nag-usap-usap dahil iisa lang ang recommendation nila sa akin! To lose weight. Sabi ng Endo, Obese Type 1 na daw ako. Sabi ng OB, I have polycystic ovaries, and as a result, I do not ovulate regularly, and ang cause daw nito ay ang aking pagiging overweight. At ang sabi ng Ortho doctor, I have lumbar lordosis, and because of this I cannot carry anything heavy. Kung di nyo alam kung ano ang lumbar lordosis, aba’y eh di i-google nyo! Hindi naman ako doctor para mag-explain ng medical terms noh! (taray ba? pero in fairness, nahilig na rin ako sa medical terms dahil sa kakanuod ng grey’s anatomy) Basta ang pagkakaintindi ko, kung ang scoliosis ay pa-kuba, ang lordosis ay pa-liyad. Ganun! So, dyan sa mga tao na matagal na akong inookray na parang bibe sa laki ng pwet ko, hindi po kasalanan ng pwet ko ito, ok? The normal degree is 45, and I am 60. So, nasa spinal bone ko po yung pagkakaliyad ng pwet ko, ok??? (Renan, gets mo ba yun, ha?)

So, dahil sa inis ko sa mga doctor, kailangan ko na talagang magpapapayat. Dahil hindi ko rin pwedeng kargahin ang aking napakagandang anak na si Erin who is about 11 kilos now. Or else, I will have the tremendous lower back pains again every night.

Diet, diet, diet once again ang lola nyo. Alam naman nating lahat na hindi umubra ang “See-food” diet ko nuon. So, I am returning to what worked best for me in the past, which is modified Atkins (minimized carbs intake), and amoy-lang-and-no-bite for desserts and anything sweet. Plus, of course, advise from the best Doctor in the whole wide world, my dearest Doctor Owen.

Ayan, in the past 10 weeks, I have been eating yogurt for breakfast; mixed fruits (usually papaya, watermelon, melon, pineapple) and calamansi juice for lunch; a piece of biscuit for snack (the key here is not to finish the whole pack of the biscuit. tikim lang, and then I pass it over to my glamorous seatmates Marky and Lory); …and then two bowls of rice for dinner (JOKE!). For dinner, I usually eat the viand that’s served at the table (most of the time fish or chicken). During the day, I drink at least two liters of water (doesn’t matter if it’s cold or not). Basta, inom lang ng inom! Tapos, wiwi din ng wiwi. Warning lang, nakakapanghina ang halos walang carbs. Minsan, pag nakauwi na ako, gumagabay na ako sa mga dingding ng hallway, para makarating lang sa pintuan ng apartment namin. So, I nourish myself when I get home, kundi wala na akong energy to play with Erin. Kumakain pa rin naman ako, in small servings nga lang.

Now, I have lost 14 pounds so far. So  I need to lose 19 pounds more to get back to my dalaga weight. Pero, hindi naman ako nagmamadali. At least now, hindi na ako penguin maglakad. At wala na ang backpains ko sa gabi.

Kaya lang, nagagalit naman sa akin ang sister kong si Jo Rose. Kasi everytime makikita kaming magkasama, palagi siyang nababati na kelangan magpapapayat, kasi na-co-compare sa akin. Well, in fairness to her, my real face shape is oval, so halata talaga ng lahat when I lose weight kasi humahaba ang face ko. Jo Rose naman, on the other hand, has a round face, so maski na mas malaki ako sa kanya, minsan, mukhang siya ang mas malaki sa akin. Gets? Madaya lang tingnan. So, sis, don’t let them get into you, ok? Mag-diet na lang tayong dalawa.

Come on, let’s die yet! (hehe)

They say that a person starts to have memories of events in his life at three years old. Maybe it’s true. I have some snapshots of my childhood in my head, which now at almost 28 years old, are still vivid. And it’s weird I remember them so well… though I’m not sure if some of these are dreams. But I feel most are real. I don’t know the order of events, but I would just write whatever I remember.

 

 

I remember I was with Mama Kristin in a Church where there was a lot of people. And people started lining up at the aisle, she told me to stay put at the pew where we were seated, while she went to get communion. And when she left, I cried to the top of my lungs. And when she came back, she gave me half of the bread that was in her mouth. And I stopped crying. (So I guess the first communion ceremony at school when I was at Grade I was not my first communion after all.)

 

I remember that my cousin Patrick’s favorite TV show was Knight Rider, and we would watch it together – Pat, sitting on his father’s lap on the sofa; me sitting down the carpet nearer the TV. And during commercial breaks, Pat would go ride his “KITT” toy cart with the red lights lighting up from left to right and back at the bumper.

 

I remember being afraid of Uncle Greg, because of his very deep voice when he talks.

 

I remember Aunt Malou putting me on a diet, because the bullies at school tease me. Then, I was eating a raw carrot.

 

I remember Lola Gueling teaching me to write a letter to my Mom. When I wrote two words without a space in between, Lola tried to correct me, so I put a slash (/) in between the two letters, and Lola put her hand in her head saying “ay, nako! (oh, no!)” because I think I only made it worse. But after that she said, it was ok.

 

I remember a shallow swimming pool that was set up in a garden, and my little sister Jo Rose (who was maybe 2 or 3 yrs old at that time) and I were fighting over holding the water hose to fill up the pool. As the “ate” (older sister), I was always told to give way to my younger sis. So, I gave her the hose. Then, I went away the pool, hid behind the bend, picked up the hose, and I bent the hose. (I learned this trick from TV, that when you bend a water hose, the water would stop flowing.)  And it worked! When the water stopped from flowing, little Jo Rose looked at the hole of the water hose. And as she put the hose to her face to see what happened, I let go of the bent hose… It was a success! A water burst to Jo Rose’s face! Hahaha… And she had no idea I did it. (Sorry, sis!)

 

I remember my bachelor uncle putting me to sleep one night, covering me with a blanket, while he was watching TV beside me. He thought I was already asleep, because I didn’t move. But, he caught me peeping under the blanket, and I think he had to turn off the TV… You know what I saw while peeping? – a community where all the people were walking naked. I think the movie was about something like Adam and Eve days…

 

I remember the morning after I was a flower girl at a wedding of one of my uncles, I was tasked to call my uncle and new aunt for breakfast. And when I entered their room, I felt embarrassed seeing them in their underwear. And I ran out of the bedroom at once. And I did not know why I felt embarrassed over that.

 

I remember somebody tucking me in bed (I don’t remember who in particular, but it was definitely not Mom) inside a bedroom on the second floor, where the windows were beside a road. And I watched the lights refracted to the ceiling when a car was passing by. I counted them until I fell asleep. I guess the room was a new place, because it took a while before I was able to fall asleep.

 

I remember when we came back to my Lola Angie’s house, almost everybody in the house was crying and hugging me tight, and there were a lot of stickers on the walls and doors saying “We love Caren”. Lola Angie was giving me a glass of milk, but I didn’t like the taste because it tasted different, too creamy, and it was almost light yellow in color. When I didn’t drink it, Lola Angie tried giving me a teaspoonful of the powder milk, and I didn’t like it either. I really didn’t like the taste of the powder milk in the yellow canister. I was wondering, how could it be milk when it was in powder form?

 

I know that I did not drink warm milk before going to bed when I was a child. I drank cold fresh milk in the mornings at breakfast. And my Papa did not know that until I resisted to drink the milk that my “Tita Tita” made for me that night. She was a very nice lady. She lent me a big peach night shirt with a big bear printed in the front. (I don’t know, but I guess I was not able to bring any of my clothes with me that night.) “Tita Tita” sang me lullabyes (which I was not used to), until I fell asleep. Then, when I woke up, I asked for the milk they were giving me last night, but it was already spoiled. But “Tita Tita” said she would just make a new one for me.

 

 

These are what I have as early memories, which I would tag as 3 to 5 (my age)… Of course there are a lot more that I remember from the time I celebrated my 6^th birthday. And I think that marks a whole new chapter of my life as a child.

 

 

To my dearest Lola Gueling, I will miss you so much. I know you are looking after us from heaven. I love you.

 

Sorry, medyo natagalan ang update ko sa aking difficult pregnancy ha… Hindi ko ma-imagine na ganun na pala katagal ang nilipas ng mga araw. I’m on my 33^rd week of pregnancy now. Wow, ang galing noh? Anyway, to update you of what happened in the past weeks, eto ang mga kwento ko:

Welcome to Media!!!

Isa sa mga mino-monitor ng OB sa buntis ay ang sugar levels nya. Risky kasi for the baby kapag diabetic ang nanay. Pwedeng maging diabetic din ang baby. At may tendency na lumaki ng sobra ang baby to the point na oversize sya at mahihirapan sya ilabas sa womb. May cases nga daw na kailangang i-dislocate muna ang shoulders ng baby para mailabas at saka ibabalik sa tama. Ang pinakanakakatakot, there have been cases daw of fetal death with moms na may GDM (Gestational Diabetes).

I first took my OGCT (Glucose Challenge Test) last Jan, when I was still 7 weeks pregnant. Normal naman ang results. And then, pinaulit ito ng OB nung 20 weeks na ako. This time, mataas daw ang results, so I had to take another test OGTT (Glucose Tolerance Test) to see if it’s diabetes. Super kabado ako nung time na pinag-test ako. The OGTT takes around 3-4 hours to finish, while on fasting. Meron pinainom na glucose solution after the first blood extraction. And then, kukunan ng dugo every hour. Buti na lang, I already knew about this procedure beforehand so I brought a Sudoku booklet with me to keep me busy during the gaps. Nung umuwi na ako from the lab, at habang nag-aantay ng resulta which I would get the next day, super natakot ako. I was worried for my baby. So, I kept on praying na sana ok ang lahat. I also sought prayers from my friends and family.

When the results came out, I called my OB and she scheduled me for an appointment with an Endocrinologist. So, ayun, nadagdagan nga ang doctors na dinadalaw ko. The endo said I had gestational diabetes – ito yung nagde-develop kapag buntis na kinakatakutan ko. Mas prone daw dito ang mga may family history ng diabetes at yung mga overweight. In my case, both of my parents have diabetes. No comment na lang sa aspect ng pagiging overweight.

Sabi ng doctor, I have to monitor my sugar levels twice a day – once before breakfast and another one after a meal. Ayun, month of May, natuto ako magtusok-tusok ng mga daliri ko, maski na nanghihina ako at the sight of blood… maski konting dugo lang ang nakikita ko, nagiging parang marshmallow ang mga kalamnan ko noh! Yikes! Pero after a while, I got the hang of it na, and it’s not so bad naman.

Nung ibinalita ko na sa mga tito at tita ko na may diabetes ako, ayun lahat naman sila winelcome ako sa Media – as in, “me diabetes”! Wow, kaya pala mga sugarfree ang mga pagkain sa kanila. At least, may kadamay naman ako, d ba? Shempre, ni-remind din nila ako to be careful.

Karen- Diet, diet, diet…

Kasabay ng blood sugar monitoring ko ay ang pag-maintain ng balanced diet. My endo doctor referred me to a dietitian/ nutritionist. At nadagdagan na naman ang mga binibisita ko St. Luke’s! Ang saya talaga… At pati sila-silang mga doctors ko, naging friends na dahil sa akin! Nagkakape ata sila over my case. Haha…

My nutritionist gave me a diet plan. The plan consists of three full meals, with a serving of protein (fish or lean meat/ chicken), two servings of carbs (a serving is half a cup of rice), two servings of vegetables and a serving of fruit.  Meron din namang three snacks in between these full meals consisting of a glass of non-fat milk, one serving of carbs, and a serving of protein (no fat).  I had to switch from low fat milk to non-fat… tsk, tsk.. kung kelan pa naman nakahanap na ako ng kasundong gatas ng tyan ko! Mag-a-adjust na naman ako.

With the diet, feeling ko, successful naman ako, kasi bumaba naman ang blood sugar ko at hindi ko kailangan mag-inject ng insulin. Kaya lang nung nagpa-ultrasound ako two weeks after I started my diet, sabi ng sonologist, underweight daw si baby at mababa ang level ng amniotic fluid ko (konti yung tubig ko sa uterus). Baka nasobrahan daw ako sa diet. So, dinalaw ko uli ang OB ko at ang Endo ko para ibalita yun. They had to revise my diet para dagdagan ang protein intake ko. Pwede na raw ako mag-steak, basta once a week lang. At dapat kumain ako ng eggwhite everyday. Pinalitan din ang multivitamins ko at nagdagdag pa ng milk as added supplement. Shemps, ipinaalam din nila yun sa nutritionist ko. So, malamang, nagkape na naman ang mga yun. Hahaha… 

My Little Kakay!

Despite the many many worries in my head, I was excited nung 5 1/2 months na ako at pwede ng malaman ang gender ni baby. Gusto ni Eboy, lalaki (kagaya ng gusto ng karamihan sa mga tatay). Ako naman, maski ano, pero masaya rin kung magiging babae. So waiting kami for our turn sa ultrasound room, nagpupustahan na kami ni Eboy, bet nya ang lalaki, ako naman ay babae. Nagtatawanan kaming dalawa habang bumubulong siya sa akin ng  “Boy!”; sasagot din naman ako ng pabulong na “Girl!”.

Sabi ng sonologist, sure daw siya na girl! Haha… It’s going to be a little Kakay! I was so excited. Si Eboy naman, medyo disappointed na natalo sya nung una, pero nung pag-uwi namin sa bahay, ipinamalita na nya sa sambayanan na babae ang anak nya! Sabi ko kay Eboy, magkakaroon din sya ng baby boy in God’s time.  Mabuti ito, meron munang Ate sa pamilya.

I also read from the net na sa generation na born 2000 onwards, mas marami na raw ang males kesa females. Unlike sa generation namin na 1980’s, na 10 lang ata ang mga kaklase kong lalake, habang 30+ kaming babae.

Anyway, with Little Kakay facing the risk of Mama’s diabetes, the OB gave me steroid shots that would help develop the lungs of the baby. With the steroid shots, mas kakayanin ni baby mag-survive just in case of a pre-term labor. So, medyo prepared na rin si Little Kakay.

Likot-Likot

Nung nag-six months na ako, super likot na nitong baby ko. Hirap na akong makatulog sa gabi kasi maski late na, ikot pa rin ng ikot at sipa pa rin ng sipa si baby. Masyado atang na-stimulate ng mga tugtog ni Vivaldi at Mozart.

Malikot din kapag bagong kain ako. At kapag nagpapatugtog ako, parang sumasayaw sya sa likot. Sa umaga, siya rin ang nanggigising sa akin. Siguro, sinisipa na ako dahil gutom na sya. Ay, super takaw nitong baby kong ito. Every three hours kaming gutom. Kung gusto nyong makita kung gaano kalikot, eto ang video ng alien moves nya… (chaka nga lang ang tyan ko ha, dahil sa stretchmarks. Pero ika nga nila, this is the essence of being a woman!)

Baby’s alien moves

Pero may mga araw din na hindi siya malikot. Kapag mga ganitong araw, nagwo-worry ako. So, kapag medyo matagal siyang hindi gumalaw, ginigising ko sya by changing position (hihiga ako sa left side), or by touching my tummy. Like in this video…

Responding to Mama’s Touch

Peng’s Happy Feet

Ang daming physical changes na nangyari sa akin ha! Halata nyo ba, hindi ako nagpo-post ng pictures ko ngayon??? Pero kung curious talaga kayo, kukwentuhan ko na lang kayo ng itsura ko ngayon.

Una na yang stretch marks sa tyan, sabi nila hindi na daw nawawala yan eh. Mag-la-lighten lang ang color, pero hindi mawawala. Syet… Meron din akong small pimples sa bandang leeg at dibdib. Buti nga, nawala na ang rashes ko nun na super kati.

At ang kilikili ha! Exagg ang color pigmentation. Sabihin na lang natin na may ilan ng nagtanong sa akin kung Kiwi daw ba ang deodorant ko!?! Tama ba naman yun? Bastusan na talaga yun ah.

Tapos, pinaka-obvious ang pag-gain ako ng weight. Malapit na ako sa 35-pound limit, eh I have 5 more weeks pa to go. Ang bigat ng feeling ko at ang laki-laki ko na. As in yung tyan ko, palaging sumasayad sa kung ano-ano – sa dining table, sa work table, sa pinto kapag sinasara ko (lalo sa banyo, halos di nako magkasya), sa pagitan ng mga kotse sa parking lot, at kahit sa mga tao sa elevator. Nung minsan nag-attend ako sa binyagan na buffet ang kainan, at sabi nila nung pauwi na ako, ang dami ko raw nakain sa laki ng tyan ko. Haha…  At sabi ng nanay ko, buntis daw ako sa harap at likod. Mukha na akong butete sa laki ng tyan at pwet. Anuu bah!

Tapos, dahil siguro sa malaking shift ng center of gravity sa katawan ko, eh weird na ako maglakad. Madalas sa office, ginagaya nila ako maglakad. Parang penguin. Left, right, left, right. Peng na nga ang tawag sa akin ng iba eh.

Haay naku, ang hirap talaga maging nanay, nahihirapan ka na nga, mapipintasan ka pa. Pero I’m sure, paglalambing lang naman lahat ng pintas na natatanggap ko. Term of endearment lang ng mga bansag na yun. Maraming nagmamahal as akin eh.

Countdown

Now, at almost 8 months, nagpapasalamat talaga ako na malapit ko na makita ang baby ko! At very good kaming dalawa ni baby sa ipinakita naming progress with my pregnancy classified as high-risk.

During my first and second trimesters, I had pains in my lower back, which is one of the symptoms of pre-term labor. It was the same pain I had in my last pregnancy when I lost my baby at 22 weeks gestation. That’s why my OB strongly advised me to take bed rest. Thanks to my considerate boss and my company employer, I was allowed to work at home, attending and holding meetings via telecon and submitting deliverables via email. Kinaya namin ni baby, without having to lose my job.

On my struggle with diabetes, I now have normal sugar levels, without having to take insulin shots. Thanks to my doctors who were persistent in monitoring my progress. Thanks to my very supportive Eboy, who sometimes made our home a “Bahay-Kubo”, sa pagbili nya sa halos lahat ng gulay ng kanta para sa diet ko.

My baby has now reached a normal size and my amniotic fluid has matured and is now on a normal level too. Her lungs are working ok. Heart rate and movements are also good. Thank God, He took care of my baby. He also took care of me, as I was relieved of my pain and I always felt that He was beside me every time I got worried. Thanks to everyone who prayed for me and my baby.

Baby and I are now preparing for the delivery. Baka end of July, baka early August. Pray tayo uli for a safe delivery and a healthy baby ha? Til next update!

Kamusta naman ang lahat? Ang balita tungkol sa akin, I am on my 22nd week of pregnancy now. Madalas na gumagalaw ang baby sa loob ng lumolobo kong tyan. Nakakatuwa.

As advised by the OB, I should still take bed rests whenever possible para sure na safe kami ni baby. Di ko akalaing ganito ako kaselan magbuntis. I don’t report to my Makati office everyday, but I still get to work everday with a work-at-home set up. So far, so good… Nakakainip man sa bahay dahil wala akong nakikitang tao, ok na rin as long as wala na akong back pains, which is one of the symptoms of pre-mature labor. So, eto ako, nagta-type nang nakahiga (skill ito ha). Nakatagilid naman sa left for better circulation of oxygen in the blood daw.

Dun sa huling visit namin sa Eboy sa OB, napansin ni doc ang obvious naman na weight gain ni Eboy. In fact, mas mabilis ngang lumaki sa akin si mister, hehe… Nabanggit ko rin na yung rashes ko sa likod (PUPPP), meron din sha. At ang sweet, dahil sabay na kaming nagkakamot sa gabi! Sweet, di ba? Hahaha… Sabi ni doc, he may be going through sympathetic pregnancy. Nararamdaman nya ang mga nararamdaman ko sa aking pagbubuntis. Wow, totoo pala yun? Pwede talagang maglihi ang mga tatay? Oo daw. Ngayon nga, nagkaka-boobs na rin ata si Eboy– hala ka. Pero mawawala rin naman siguro yun. (Sana.) haha

Nakakaaliw din naman na maski sa papanong paraan eh dinadamayan ako ng mister ko sa hirap, este sarap ng pagbubuntis. Buti nga, hindi nya na naranasan ang morning sickness ko nung 1st trimester. Swerte pa rin sya.

Hi everyone! Just want to share that I’m on my 10th week of pregnancy now. Eboy and I learned about it just before Christmas, and it’s the best Christmas gift. Super mega ingat na si mama kakay this time. Maselan pala ako magbuntis. Di pwede matagtag. Dapat lagi may pahinga. Dapat lagi kumakain, pero iwas sa sweets, caffeine at carbs. Masungit, lalo kapag may masakit. Ngayon nga, wa poise pa ako kasi kamot ako ng kamot dahil maaga akong kinapitan ng PUPPP (ito yung rashes ng pregnancy). Hehe… Yung mga tumatawag nga sa akin ng KG before, Kakay Galis na daw ang meaning nun ngayon. Sabi ko naman, KR na ako ngayon noh (Kakay Rashes naman, wag galis which is so jologs, haha).

Anyway, this post is really to ask for your help to think of nice baby names. Since hindi pa natin alam kung girl or boy, magbigay kayo ng pang-girl at pang-boy. Okie? Thanks a lot!

Sept. 11, 2006

Dearest Kakay,

How are you? I know you’ve gone through a lot in the past two months… You were quite accurate in telling during your wedding that you’re going through a roller coaster ride — with the extremes of heights of happiness and depths of sadness that came by in the succeeding weeks.

I congratulate you for the successful party you’ve thrown at your wedding. That was really fun! I know you had a lot of family members and friends you thank for. You do have a lot of people who love you. You were glowing of joy and excitement that moment. That would indeed be the beginning of your dreams coming true — with your very own (version of) Prince Charming. :o)

The next weeks even showed a prettier you, despite the weight gain. I heard of your high sugar levels, possibly brought about by gestational diabetes. I salute you for your discipline in sticking to your low-sugar, low-salt diet. Bawal ang matamis, bawal din ang maalat. So anong pwedeng kainin??? “Eh di matabang!”, sabi nga ng isang makulit na officemate. I know you only wanted what is best for the baby inside you. Your baby probably loved your stories and songs, and the prayers that you whispered to her everyday. You always shared smiles with Eboy with the feel of Baby’s heartbeat inside your growing tummy. It was so much easy for you to give out smiles — may it be in the morning train rides, in office meetings, or at dinnertime with Eboy and Manang Becca. You were especially beaming with bliss every night during the two-hour trips going home from the office, with the love of your life…

Unfortunately, the unexplainable can’t be prevented from happening… At the height of your joy, here comes sorrow, breaking in the fairytale. Dawn of Aug. 27, as you experienced a bit of pain in your abdomen, you offered a little prayer to take away the pain, while reassuring little Baby that everything will be alright. You slept in your dear husband’s comforting embrace until you awakened, the pain no longer tolerable. That’s when fear wrapped your consciousness. At 7am, you were with the doctors and nurses in the hospital’s operating room. The doctors promised they would do everything they could… The baby’s heart still beating, your eyes were filled with sadness. The doctors just said the baby has to be taken out, but little Baby can’t survive being barely 23 weeks in your womb.

That was just two weeks ago, Kay. I know you’re still hurting now. But continue to hold on to the Lord, more strongly than ever before… because God has plans for you and your family life. Always be reminded of your Ninang’s words, you are truly blessed – starting a family with an angel up above to look over you and Eboy. Don’t forget to be thankful for all of your blessings – for your husband who loves you dearly, for your family who has supported you all throughout, for your friends who were always there to cheer you up. You may not fully understand everything now, but in God’s time, your wounds would heal too. Your heartaches will be gone. Be thankful that Baby Natalie Angeline was blessed to become one of God’s precious angels.

Much love,

Kakay